Ma cheama ioana Luca ..... really?

"Greed has poisoned man's souls ! "

"Hope… I’m sorry but I don’t want to be an Emperor – that’s not my business – I don’t want to rule or conquer anyone. I should like to help everyone if possible, Jew, gentile, black man, white. We all want to help one another, human beings are like that.
We all want to live by each other’s happiness, not by each other’s misery. We don’t want to hate and despise one another. In this world there is room for everyone and the earth is rich and can provide for everyone.

The way of life can be free and beautiful.

But we have lost the way.

Greed has poisoned men’s souls – has barricaded the world with hate; has goose-stepped us into misery and bloodshed.

We have developed speed but we have shut ourselves in: machinery that gives abundance has left us in want. Our knowledge has made us cynical, our cleverness hard and unkind. We think too much and feel too little: More than machinery we need humanity; More than cleverness we need kindness and gentleness. Without these qualities, life will be violent and all will be lost.

The aeroplane and the radio have brought us closer together. The very nature of these inventions cries out for the goodness in men, cries out for universal brotherhood for the unity of us all. Even now my voice is reaching millions throughout the world, millions of despairing men, women and little children, victims of a system that makes men torture and imprison innocent people. To those who can hear me I say “Do not despair”.

The misery that is now upon us is but the passing of greed, the bitterness of men who fear the way of human progress: the hate of men will pass and dictators die and the power they took from the people, will return to the people and so long as men die liberty will never perish…

Soldiers – don’t give yourselves to brutes, men who despise you and enslave you – who regiment your lives, tell you what to do, what to think and what to feel, who drill you, diet you, treat you as cattle, as cannon fodder.

Don’t give yourselves to these unnatural men, machine men, with machine minds and machine hearts. You are not machines. You are not cattle. You are men. You have the love of humanity in your hearts. You don’t hate – only the unloved hate. Only the unloved and the unnatural. Soldiers – don’t fight for slavery, fight for liberty.

In the seventeenth chapter of Saint Luke it is written ” the kingdom of God is within man ” – not one man, nor a group of men – but in all men – in you, the people.

You the people have the power, the power to create machines, the power to create happiness. You the people have the power to make life free and beautiful, to make this life a wonderful adventure. Then in the name of democracy let’s use that power – let us all unite. Let us fight for a new world, a decent world that will give men a chance to work, that will give you the future and old age and security. By the promise of these things, brutes have risen to power, but they lie. They do not fulfil their promise, they never will. Dictators free themselves but they enslave the people. Now let us fight to fulfil that promise. Let us fight to free the world, to do away with national barriers, do away with greed, with hate and intolerance. Let us fight for a world of reason, a world where science and progress will lead to all men’s happiness.

Soldiers – in the name of democracy, let us all unite!”

I shall let you find out who was the person who gave this speech !

Burning Bridges and beheading enemies.

Home many times have you been in the situation that no matter how hard you try to fight what's coming, you can't avoid it ? How many times you fought that hopeless battle tired, down on your knees you raised your sword stroke again and again with the mind strong but body broken, and with each stroke you take down one more enemy and 2 more arise? And you realize you fight a lost battle but you keep on going and strike tireless because you have to see how far you can go before you accept defeat. Needless to say every time you go down on your knees bearing your heavy armor on you shoulders it's harder with every hit to get up but your mind picks you up and you keep going. Getting closer and closer to the point of break you keep you head high and look in distance for a sign. And you wonder if you are alone in this battlefield. All you friends fall one by one prey to the enemy but you strive with each hit to get closer to them and try to pick them up because you know that whit each friend you have aside the battle will be easier and the victory seems closer, so you help them up, and keep on going. But what happens when you are left alone struck down with no one to pick you up and fight the battle with you along side, what then. Is that the point of break when you mind is crushed and body soon to follow, what happens when you run out of stamina and fell like everything is over. Will you then accept defeat? Or will you go search for new allies ?

Would you take your tactical retreat knowing that you just postpone the inevitable or will you take your sword thru your enemy until the last gasp of air in your lungs.

Life should be cherished along side good allies and friends and war should be postponed for as long as possible. Resort to your swords gents but resort to your swords where words have lost meaning, and actions are called for or else you will end up in the situation of fighting  a lost battle along side your allies, which will be struck down one by one until alone in the battlefield you will kneel powerless in front of your enemy. Looking up for a sign you will only see the short end of the sword falling down on your heads, and the last thing flashing thru your thick skulls will be that you with your own 2 feet have walked yourself in this place. Now is nobody else here to save you as you got all you allies killed on the way here and all your bridges burned. It's a lonely death, cruel and unforgiving but is a death that you walked in by yourself.

So now i will ask you again when chance strikes and you have to make a choice will you build a bridge or burn one down ? 

Because sometimes I just want to scream !

Seriously some times I really hate how things turn out, how life just puts huge crossroads in front of you. And all this just for the plane amusement of someone who is to bored or maybe has to much envy on people who get it right at least half way and find that piece of short happiness. And adding to this they make out this huge crossroads with small mazes inside that you need to take and some hoops after just so  you don't get bored while crossing it. Yeah I know sounds dark take a load of this then I would like to head up to that lonely small and dark road crossing where the little brunette beautiful girl hangs out asking me if i wanna sell my soul for a piece of happiness to tell her to fuck off as i will sell my soul only for the chance to find that little somebody and kick his ass for those huge crossroads untill he begs for mercy and I will show him mercy then in exachange of getting my soul freed from the little pact I made with the beautifull brunette. As this is just another hoop I will jump at the end I will have wasted my life finding that something, which does not exist and I'll be an empty shell ready to part with stories of war and wounds from battles which told right people will learn and hopefully not repeat.
Alex. I

Far or away ?

"It's not hard to be far, it's hard to be away. " Alexandru Iagar.


Yes I know !  I just quoted myself it's kinda self-centered, but I'm trying to make a point. so please when you judge and i know you will, don't be so harsh. I've been away for a long time but the distances is nothing when you think about it is that you are away you are not there. Doesn't really matter how far away you are if u aren't there when it counts. You know. And I fell that in the past years i have been away too long. And I started to deal better with this, but i also enjoyed this far far away places i have been. I mean you get to go to this amazing places and you stand in front of them astonished and the only thing passing your mind at that time is : " i wish that my friends could be here with me , or my sister or .... " you know what i mean.
This past days i found out I'm abut to go again but this time apparently i have followers which is cool means i get to do things with my friends and it will not be so freaking hard anymore. But i still leave home and i will miss my moms. And the thing that hunts me every time is that I'm away and she will have no shoulder to lean anymore. But i learned, and know I'm better at dealing with this but still every time when is around the time to leave again i go in to this state of mind that makes me sad that I am leaving and with this i still don't know how to deal with...

The hardest thing I have done is to leave ! 

Shuffle de ideii si opinii

Am ajuns sa alerg si in jurul lumii si m-am intors de unde am plecat 8 biti pe un servar si niste cuvinte desarte . Mestacate incet de mintea mea bolnava si aaruncate afara alandala pe un blog pe care nu il citeste nimeni. Am avut in seara asta parte sa stua la o bere cu 6 fete frumoase si inca un tip care nu zicea nimica. Si am povestit si noi asa ca o gasca vesela, uni mai putin alti mai mult, iar alti ... deloc . Si am mai cunoscut alte persoane. Si povestind asa cum fetele despre experientele mele si ale lor in lumea de zi cu zi am realizat ca orice as face nu pot sa stau pe loc. Nu ma lasa firea mea sa ma opresc , si m-am gandit ce pot sa fac si am realizat ca nu pot sa fac nimic. Am cateodata impresia, ca alerg de ceva, si nu ma mai pot opri. Si stau de multe ori si ma intreb de ce fac ce fac si nu pot sa gasesc un raspuns . Nu ajung la nici un fel de concluzie. Nu inteleg de ce tot fug, de cine de ce . Si atunci am venit cu teoria 2 poate nu fug poate caut ceva., si a rezonat mai bine. Intradevar caut ceva dar nu pot sa constientizez ce caut si pe zi ce trece lucrul asta ma ingrijoreaza tot mai mult. Pentru ca am impresia ca caut un absolut pe care nu am sa il gasesc nici odata pentru ca nu exista absoluturi in lumea asta. Stau si ma uit in jurul meu si vad numai persoane dezorientate care nu stiu ce sa faca mai departe, persoane descurajate care si daca au o sansa sa faca ceva nu profita din frica ca daca dau gresi vor cadea si mai jos. Si mai si persoane care s-au impacat cu actualul statut sau sa plafonat la cel pe care il aveau acum ceva timp si staioneaza acolo pierduti parca intr-o gaura neagra si nu vor sa mearga mai departe. Ma intristeaza foarte tare sa ma uit la ei si sa imi dau seama ca multi din oameni astia sunt prietenei mei toti cu garda jos descurajati sau plafonati nu stiu ce sa mai faca si prefera sa se inchida si sa nu mai faca nimica. Prea multa lumea arunca prosopul atat de repede si prefera sa pleca capul si sa nu se uite ce se intampla sa zica ca le-a ajuns. Pe undeva ii inteleg dar pe de alta pare sunt intr-un deacord total cu ceea ce fac si orice as zice e gresit din start si mi se pare ca si cei care au mai ramas cu mintea dechisa incep incet incet sa se inchida si/sau sa se plafoneze lucru care ma intristeaza. Am plecat prima oara de acasa acum 2 ani imediat si am lasat o gasca tanara voioasa si distrata ca sa ma intorc la un grup dezbinat cu probleme si cu intrigi. Ma gandesc cateodata daca sunt eu cel care sa schimbat mai mult sau daca si ei au trecut prin evenimente majore care le-a schimbat dealungul timpului felul de a gandi sau in cazul unora felul de nu a mai gandi.

Si cand vad lucrurile astea in jurul meu ma descurajez total si imi vine si mie cateodata sa arunc prosopul. Tind sa cred ca inca sunt puternic si mai pot face ceva sa schimb viitorul in mai bine macar pentru mine si daca am putere si pentru cei din jurul meu dar pe zi ce trece liniile se incetoseaza si mai mult si se pierd din vedere lucururile care cu adevarat conteaza acum . Prefer si eu sa fug din nou si caut altceva.

Poate caut fericirea sau poate fug de tristete , poate caut dragostea sua poate fug de dezamagire, poate caut consolare sau fug de depresie nu pot inca sa imi dau seama stiu doar ca incerc sa o iau din loc mai repede sa nu innebunesc treptat si sistematic pana la os .

Cineva mi-a promis odata ca vor veni si vremuri mai bune ca lucruriile se vor schimba , ma rugat sa am incredere ca totul va fi bine si ca anumite lucruri timpul le va vindeca. Dar pe zi ce trece raniile se fac mai adnaci intrigiile mai ambigue, iar deznodamantul nu mai apare. Cursul normal al lucrurilor ia o natura tot mai viejlioasa si mai innourata, iar eu vreau sa vad soarele din nou .

In melancolia trista a cuvintelor pe care sunt convins ca le insir aici de nebun, fara o noima lizibila. Incep sa cred ca-s ipohondru sau chiar bipolar (din 2 una). Dar saracasmul personal nu ma mai amuza de mult timp iar cei din jur percep sarcasmul orientat, ca o rautate suprema sau ca o replica agresiva din partea unui combatanta . Toata lumea vrea sa aibe dreptate si toti plafonati s-au desteptat de la 3 fire de iarba pierdute in alte 3 de tutun, si spun ca deh jah jah life sau dupa caz Gansta life. Toti mai nou in Romania vor sa fie Rasta ca e la moda, dar nimeni nu pune mana pe o carte sa vada defapt cum sta treaba sau macar pe un google ca e mai modern, e usor sa zici ca toti sunt impotriva ta atunci cand vrei sa salvezi putina integritate ramas in jumatatiile de ora cand te mai vede lumea la fata cu creieri limpezi. Si atunci da imi vine si mie sa atunc prosopul si sa renunt la multe persoane din jurul meu pe care odata credeam ca le cunosc iar acum sau remodelat. Frustrarea din jurul meu atinge cote ingrijoratoare si ma face sa imi dau seama ca locul meu nu se mai afla aici si atunci o iau din loc si fug . Fug de 2 ani imediat si nu imi dau seama cand trebe sa ma opresc pentru ca , am momente cand cu adevarat fug, iar late dati am momente cand caut, dar nici odata nu gasesc ceea ce vreau, si cel mai probabil asta denota o situatie in care subconstientul meu nu stie ce vrea iar eu constintizez ca trebe sa ma misc incontinuu din ce in e mai repede si tot timpul in alt loc.

Cred ca daca am sa continui sa fug am sa ajung sa fiu un neadaptat social care tinde spre dreptatea absoluta fara sa aibe habar cum ar arata ea.

Facand o pauza si citind din urma am realizat ca am sarit de la o idee la alta fara a concretiza nici una din ele, dar realizand ca am o constanta in tot ceea ce fac pe care trebuie sa o pastrez , sa alerg din nou in jurul lumii poate de data asta am sa caut mai atent si am sa vad mai multe lucruri in jurul meu care ma fac sa ma simt satisfacut decat cele care nu .

Dwight D. Eisenhower -
- In preparing for battle I have always found that plans are useless, but planning is indispensable.

Sometimes ...

Sometimes ....